Friday, December 21, 2007

Who You'd Be

Sweet April Baby, this week we would have found out your gender. We would have been so excited to know who you'd be. If you were a girl, you would have been named Lily Kate. It means "flower of purity." If you were a boy, you would have been Benjamin, "son of my right hand." Since we didn't get to find out, we call you April Baby for the month of our expectation and a name that means "open." We are so overwhelmed at how God opened our hearts in love for you in the short time you were with us. I am still excited to find out your true, God-given name someday. When I was expecting you, I first thought you were a boy. But when I saw your precious body, I felt that you were a girl. Someday I will know. I know that I do not have to assure you of our love for you because you are in a place where you know fully. I try to picture you in our Savior's arms. I imagine that you have strawberry blond curls and twinkling blue eyes, dimples on your chubby arms. I imagine that you are having so much fun with Mumsie and Faye Faye. I love you so. I read a prayer the other day that I wrote several months ago, thanking God for the day you would know Jesus as your Savior and Lord. How could I have known that day would come so much sooner than I ever imagined? In the midst of my brokenness, I see you there in His presence and find hope. Someday we shall see face to face. Until then, I will never stop imagining who you'd be if you were here with me. I will tell your siblings about their sister or brother in heaven. Pray for us, little one. We love you so!

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