Monday, March 24, 2008

Green Light

My green light to ttc is coming in just a few weeks so I'm starting to really roll with what I call my "Pregnancy Plan." Basically I'm taking steps to prepare myself for pregnancy--trying out meals and compiling a set of menus that can be made quickly on those days when fatigue keeps me out of the kitchen; exercising to make sure my body is in shape to carry a baby; taking vitamins daily--calcium, bioflavinoids, and prenatal vitamins; getting my house ready by having carpets cleaned and getting rid of excess stuff in closets so that when the time comes to prepare house for baby it won't be such a big chore. But the best news of all is that I finally feel ready. I have not had any of those weepy, depressed, scared days in a long time. I can talk about it without emotion. I am not afraid to get pregnant, not afraid even of loss I think. I accept the fact that even with everything I'm doing, I could still miscarry a second time and I'm okay with it. When I imagine my future, I imagine it with God taking care of me no matter what, as He always has done. So when my light turns green, I'm ready to go, no matter what the road ahead holds.

Monday, March 10, 2008

What NOT To Say

Last week at Bible study, during our discussion time, a woman said such an insensitive thing to me. It hurt me, but I am willing to recognize that she didn't mean for it to and that I have probably said foolish, hurtful things in ignorance too. This is not meant as a rant on her or to make anyone angry--just a kind warning of what not to say. She said, "God is probably protecting these women from something through miscarriage. You just never know what He is protecting you from." I would really like to know what she thinks we need to be protected from in the love and parenting of a child. This is not the first time someone has suggested that miscarriage was the better option if the child would have had severe problems. They say, "Oh, a chromosome defect--that could be Downs Syndrome. Maybe God just knew better." Please don't say that to me. Would a child be less worthy of my love for having Downs? Or is it that I'm not capable in the grace of God to handle a child with special needs? Please be careful with what you say.