Friday, June 27, 2008

Two pink lines!

I finally got what I wanted--two pink lines! Last night I asked my husband to take me out to dinner and told him I was eating for two. He was so exited! I'm so scared. My doctor is out of town. I'm struggling with how soon to tell my mom. Yesterday she called me to tell me that my cousin Amy is pregnant. I wanted to say, "me too!" but I just couldn't. I started crying in yoga class last night during relaxation. I just kept thinking, "please don't slip away, baby--stay with me." Part of me wants to feel the full joy of it all and tell everybody. Part of me wants to wait, just to make sure. Is that a lack of faith? Is it fair to this child for me to miss four months of excitement over it because of fear? I don't know what to think or do. But hope can only go up and I'm having a hard time stuffing it down. It would be smarter to wait. But I think I won't.

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