Trying Again

Trying again is hard. Every morning I wake up and beat my hope down with a stick. It's just a small white stick with two windows but sometimes I am amazed at the punch it packs in my day. Every book I read says, just relax--you'll be pregnant before you know it! Relax?! How can you possibly relax with all of these tests and schedules ruling your sex life? Sex should be more relaxing than this! I should be able to visit the bathroom in the morning without holding a stick between my legs and counting exactly five seconds! Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. But as much as my morning start off with that stick taking my hope out behind the shed, I find that hope takes a singular direction: upward. You can beat it down, but it pops back up. I can't help but be excited despite everything.