Benjamin's Party

On Saturday Benjamin's family, his Fairy Godparents, Honorary Aunt Shanna, and his FIL came to celebrate with him. Here are some pictures from the day (all photo credits to the amazing Shanna).

Benjamin today.

Benjamin one year ago today.

I honestly don't know where the time has gone. It has been an amazing year, one to prove every cliche you've ever heard about having a baby in the house.

I have been so emotional in the days leading up to today, but we've had a lot of fun on his birthday. When he woke up this morning, I sang "Happy Birthday" and he just grinned and grinned. We tickled, played Duck, Duck, Goose, ate a yummy breakfast (strawberry apple sauce and cheerios for him, toast with cinnamon honey for me, bananas for both of us). When daddy came home for a morning break, Benjamin got to hear Happy Birthday song again and he loved it again! And, of course, there was more tickling! We went to lunch with Katie Faye and her reunion group friends at El Fenix. Benjamin opened his first birthday present. We went to Hastings and used some of our buy-back credit to get Happy Birthday To You! by Dr. Seuss. We went to ACU where we tried (unsuccessfully) to get a picture of Benjamin chasing bubbles--too windy. But we did get the picture at the top of this post (thanks, Shanna, for helping!) We talked about taking a nap, but Benjamin decided he didn't want to miss a single minute of his very first birthday! So we just tickled and played and read instead. Now Benjamin is playing with his daddy (with the Olympics playing in the background I notice) while the stromboli cools enough to eat. After dinner, we are going to make Benjamin's new handprint moose. I made a moose out of his handprint when he was one month old...

...and decided it would be fun to make a new one on each of his birthdays. We hope to do this with all of our future children as well, choosing a different animal for each one. I think it will be fun to see his moose grow with him, don't you?

After we make the handprint moose, it will be bathtime. Then bedtime. And then (I can't believe it) his first birthday will be over!

Just kidding! Did you notice anything missing from our day? Like a picture of a baby with cake all over his face?! Of course, no 1st birthday is complete without that. But we didn't think it would be as much fun without our families present, so Saturday afternoon Benjamin will get to enjoy his devil's food cupcakes and moose shaped cookies with his grandparents, aunts, and uncles...pictures to come, of course!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY baby boy! Mommy is so proud of how you've grown and changed! Mommy and Daddy love you bunches and oodles. We always have, even when you looked like this:

And we will love you forever. I love how much you look like your Daddy. I love that What A Wonderful World is your favorite song. I love your sloppy kisses and the way you're learning to say, "I love you!" even though it comes out sounding like "I voo!" I love how excited you get when you throw a ball (or a spoon, or a cell phone, or whatever is in your hand!) and how you say, "WHOA!" every single time. My prayer for you from the first moment I knew you were alive inside of me has been that you would know and love Jesus. I love hearing your daddy read to you from The Jesus Storybook Bible. And I look forward to the day you decide to ask Jesus to be the Lord of your life. I love you. I love you. Did I tell you that I love you? I do.

My song

This is a song I wrote this afternoon after Benjamin plastered my face with kisses, leaving slobbery graham cracker crumbs on my cheeks and chin. I know that sounds gross, but I loved it! Seriously, best part of my day.

Anyway, you sing it to the tune of "Butterfly Kisses." Enjoy.

Two things we know for sure
He was sent here from Heaven
And he’s our little joy
As we high five each other when he’s down for the night
We cheer in silence cause it’s only nine
And we thank God for all of the joy in our life
Oh but most of all for

Graham cracker kisses after morning snack
Wiping crumby fingers all over my back
Slap you on the face Mommy; isn’t that a high five?
I didn’t eat your dinner Daddy
But I sure tried
Oh with all that we’ve done wrong
We must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning
And graham cracker kisses at night

He skinned his knee today
Learning how to walk, a little more everyday
I picked him up to nurse him
And make the boo boo stop
Later on I found a cheerio
Stuck to my bra
And I’ll remember…

Cheerio kisses on our cheeks
Sticky shoulders and worn out feet
Hold me all day long, Mommy, and I won’t cry
Rock me till you’re dizzy, Daddy
And sing all night
Oh, with all that we’ve done wrong
We must have done something right
To deserve his hugs every morning
And Cheerio kisses at night

He wrecked the house today
I’m finding more and more toys I’m willing to give away
Standing in the living room staring at the mess
I reach down and brush all the crumbs from my chest
And as I begin to put the toys away
I can't help but pray

Thanks for the graham cracker kisses
And the many cheerios
The drool on my sweater
And the joy that he throws
Into everything he does and every time he gives
Graham cracker kisses to us!

Four Generations

Don't these Brokaw men look great?! I'm so grateful to them for passing a godly heritage down to my son.

Resolve?

As I stood in the Customer Service line at Academy today, browsing the latest get ripped quick gadgets and watching the people rush to the check out with yoga mats and push up bars in their hands and resolve in their eyes, I realized that I have been procrastinating. Not wanting to type a New Years Resolution. Once I type it, I feel like I'm locked in.
I feel like it needs to be a good one. And it needs to be do-able. An impossible goal will just make me feel like a failure.
Should I resolve to do my Bible study every morning as soon as I rise? (not likely with my Benjamin-alarm clock going off at unpredictable times and demanding immediate action from mama when he does sound off.)
Should I resolve to take at least three Les Mills classes per week at the health club? (I've done it before. I could do it again. But that will require me leaving Benjamin in the health club's childcare facility at least twice per week, so that's out.)
So maybe I should resolve to learn to leave Benjamin in childcare facilities for short periods of time (church nursery, MOPS Moppets room, health club KidZone...oh my gosh, my palms are sweating and my milk is beginning to let down just thinking about it!).
I could resolve to clean my house better, you know like not do anything fun until I've cleaned a room each day. (Wow, I think I just burned 600 calories from laughing at that idea.)
I can think of a hundred resolutions, a hundred ways to be leaner, cleaner, smarter, sexier, a better wife, mom, housekeeper, friend, writer, sister, daughter, granddaughter or volunteer. I could journal it to death, chart my own progress, become obsessed. But I just can't seem to decide this year.
2010. I can't believe it's already nine days into this year. It's going to be a big one. I have Benjamin's first birthday coming up fast, my second Mother's Day, our sixth anniversary, a new neice/nephew coming in the summer, weaning at some point, a thousand and one decisions, and you just never know what else. On New Year's Eve I started taking an inventory of 2009 and I couldn't believe how much happened: SIX babies in my family and another seven to my friends. SIX deaths among my aquaintance, thankfully all of them joining the congregation of the Redeemed, one of them at the tender age of two months. FOUR weddings in my family and another three among friends. We saw more people at our church begin the journey of one day at a time, celebrated years with many others. We had some favorite moments: seeing Benjamin for the first time. Seeing Benjamin look up at Jon for the first time when he heard his daddy's voice in the hospital room. Holding Benjamin, nursing him for the first time. Seeing him laugh when he first met his cousin Jackson. Singing What A Wonderful World a gazillion times in ten months. Watching Benjamin with his great grandparents. Holding hands with Jon in church when we finally went back after the baby was born. Watching our sister Christina marry the love of her life and knowing that she has no idea how wonderful marriage is yet, but that she soon will. Holding Beth. Sitting in a room with Trish while we both nursed our babies. The first time Benjamin slept through the whole night and I realized I won't be tired forever. Seeing Jon look at me like I'm still the slender girl he married instead of the fleshier woman who still acts like she's eating for two.
I can't decide what to resolve on for the new year. Right now I just know that it will be full of the kinds of memories 2009 had for me and I want to enjoy them as they come. I want to be fully there in every one of them. I want to remember them so that, years from now, when I trace the map of my face in a mirror I'll know where that smile line came from and which exact sorrow deepened the empathetic brow line. And I'll let you know when (if) ever I decide which resolution will strengthen my overall resolve.

Food for Christmas Thought

I read a book several years ago called Beyond Survival: Building on Hard Times by Captain Gerald Coffee. The book is Coffee's story of his seven-year captivity in a Vietnam prisoner of war camp. One part has stayed with me through the past five or so years and I wanted to share it with you this week. Coffee writes about being alone in his prison cell on Christmas Eve, making little Christmas ornaments from small pieces of candy foil:

In the yellow light my little ornaments glowed and twinkled softly as they bobbed and rotated slowly in the chilly air. And I was immedieately struck by the satisfying simplicity of my Christmas.
I thought more about the birth of the Christ Child and the simplicity of the Nativity. There was nothing to distract me from the pure awesomeness of the story of Chirst's birth--no materialism, commercialism, no food, presents, or glitz. Just me and that little baby....
Everything by which I had measured my identity was denied: my rank, my title, uniform, clothes, money, car, the trappings of my religion. It was just me left--my flesh, bones, intellect, and soul....
I realized that although I was hurting and lonely and scared, this might be the most significant Christmas Eve of my life. The circumstances of this night were helping me to crystallize my understanding of my journey within to find God there, and thereby to see Him everywhere.

Christmas from head to TOES!!!

Today my dad paid for mom, Whitney, and I to get our toes done for Christmas! We all got variations of canycane stripes. These are mine!

For those in the Abilene area, go to Shannon Leija at Vendetta's Salon...she's the best!